Impostor Syndrome Won’t Die, but You Can Keep It At Bay
Impostor Syndrome is a real bear to get through. Here’s how I try.
He’s a familiar old friend of mine.
Most of the time, he slips into my room unnoticed, peeking over my shoulder while I am not looking. He’ll see what I’m putting down, the words flowing from my fingers like water as I am excited about how people will respond.
He laughs, cajoling me for the worthless excuse for the skeleton wearing human skin I am.
“Give it all up.” The whisper is soft, sweet, almost in its gentleness. Then the laugh comes again. “You really don’t realize how worthless you are, do you?”
Is Impostor Syndrome your friend too? Do you let him into your own hallways of the mind, allowing him to play with your emotions?
Though I despise him and how he makes me feel, I still let him in anyhow.
You might experience it because of your past.
When I ask myself why I do these things to myself, I realize over and again that the reason is likely because of my past.
For many years, the most unsupportive types of people you can imagine surrounded me. Some were relatively innocuous, merely ignoring my excitability when I would blather on about my newest book I’d been working on.
Others were more extreme. An ex-wife, for instance, took it upon herself to teach me I was worthless. She took all of my writings and threw them into a bonfire.
It was just as rough as you can imagine.
Though I fought against it as best I could, my creativity took heavy blows from the things people did (and still do, really). Though I am no longer with that person and have done my best to cut off from my life those who would damage me, enough scars remain that I sometimes can’t see my way through.
So he slips back in, my old friend. He taunts me in the night, even as I hit the publish button or save the file on my newest creation.
I hate him with my whole heart, but he’s comfortable.
Faking leads to change if you truly make an effort.
One trick I use to get through those horrible moments of self-doubt and despair is to brace myself with fake platitudes.
Faking it ’til you make it is a common phrase used today. It’s with good reason. It’s powerful.
There are many studies done, decades of time spent trying to figure out what makes people tick.
In a few, they have discovered if someone hears a lie repeatedly, they will start believing it. See the information on the Illusory Truth Effect.
The reasons aren’t well known, but it seems to be “a thing.”
Why not make use of some of that power? Why not lie to yourself about how good you really are? Take a little of your power back from that nasty guy sitting in the corner of your mind.
Accept the fact you had a role in your successes.
The simple act of creation isn’t so simple. It takes time and effort to put those words down on paper or screen, dear friend.
That alone is a success. You did it. You took a step very few people do.
You made something out of nothing, formed from your own mind.
That’s powerful. That’s important.
Success comes in different forms. Of course, most people focus on the monetary gain from writing as a delineation of success or failure, but that doesn’t have to be the case.
Creation is special, and you had control over making it happen.
Recognize you’re not alone in feeling this way.
It might surprise you to discover most of the greatest artists, musicians, comedians and entertainers have, and do, fight against Impostor Syndrome themselves.
I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’ — Maya Angelou
I am not a writer. I’ve been fooling myself and other people. — John Steinbeck
Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud. — Kate Winslet
You’re not alone with it. I think every creator goes through it at one time or another.
To what degree is up to you.
Celebrate every little success.
No brick in a building is unessential. They all have importance.
Every time you create something, celebrate it. Have a night out, or find a place you can share the moment with others.
Every single one is important.
Each night, before she goes to sleep, my wife and I discuss the things we are grateful for and positive events from the day. I always make sure to include the fact I wrote an article, or made thirty cents, or even found inspiration.
She thankfully joins me in how good it feels to have achieved something new.
Even if that wasn’t the case, though, I would still do what I could to accept the accomplishment.
Find your reason for doing it to begin with.
What pushes you to write? What’s your need to create?
Are you trying to make a difference in the world, share something new, or make a little money?
There’s obviously something stirring inside of you, acting as a driving force into putting words down.
Focus on that reason, and do everything you can to not let that go.
Success comes from practice.
Some folks advocate for writing at least a little something every day. I’m definitely one of them.
It’s good to keep the impetus going, to practice the craft in some sort of fashion.
I like to give myself small challenges.
For instance, I will decide to designate a month to writing fiction stories.
For thirty days, I will write one story each day. I want it to be fully fleshed out, from beginning to end, and then edited enough for publication.
Sound like a lot? It is, honestly, and often I don’t succeed with it.
But I am thankful I write fast and have a plethora of ideas in my head to write about. Most days, when I focus, I can get five to eight thousand usable words out, and I use software to help edit them into coherency.
One challenge month, I ended up with 17 new and publishable stories, and the idea for a new novel series. I got through the first novel of the trilogy by the time the end of the month came around.
Of course, fiction might not be your thing as it is for me, but you can do it with articles, as well.
The point is, it’s good, practical and focused practice for the craft.
Give yourself permission to make trash.
Speaking of practice, it’s totally okay if you write junk.
No one expects perfection except ourselves.
Well, unless it’s a troll on writing forums. They don’t really count, right? They’re just feeding that old demon.
Don’t focus on the end result. “That way be dragons,” my friend, leading only to failure before you even begin.
Instead, trust the process of creation. Follow the steps that lead you through the things you have control over.
You can do it.
You can push through Impostor Syndrome, but it’s a constant fight.
The demon of Impostor Syndrome can seem undefeatable, a vicious attacker in the night when and our most vulnerable moments.
It likes to prey on us when we least expect it. It’s a constant companion when we want nothing to do with it.
You can cut past it, though, if you give yourself the chance and the tools to survive.
The best way to keep it at bay is to never give up.